The Importance of the Future

Ok, bear with me on this one, I'm still relatively young.

Do you ever notice that your family only ever wants to discuss your future with you? You do something good, "Oh that's great, what are you going to do with it?" "How are you supposed to make money like that?" The list goes on and on and on....

I recently told my parents that I wasn't going to law school, which was my initial plan. I'd rather be a writer. I'm good at it (I think), I like doing it. They hate it. How can I possibly make money as a writer? I'm an English major "Oh you have to become a teacher so you can pay bills." "What are you going to do with an English Major?" And the truth is, I don't know. And I'm happy not knowing.

I am sick and tired of having to always think about the future! I don't want to just survive in this world. I mean think about it, why do people get the jobs they have? To pay bills. To get a decent home. People don't *live* anymore, they exist. They settle for a job that they don't want because they feel like they have to. And when they're sitting on their death bed, what are they supposed to be proud of? "At least I got a good deal on that chicken at Tops the other day."

I don't want to do that. Excuse me if you think I'm being childish but it's the truth. If I'm going to die, then I want my life to mean something, even if it only means something to me. I don't want my parents existances. I want to live, and live for me. And why shouldn't I? I'm the one stuck in this damn body for the next eighty or so years. That way, by the end of my time, I can sit there and think, "well, at least I did something."