The Importance of the Future

Ok, bear with me on this one, I'm still relatively young.

Do you ever notice that your family only ever wants to discuss your future with you? You do something good, "Oh that's great, what are you going to do with it?" "How are you supposed to make money like that?" The list goes on and on and on....

I recently told my parents that I wasn't going to law school, which was my initial plan. I'd rather be a writer. I'm good at it (I think), I like doing it. They hate it. How can I possibly make money as a writer? I'm an English major "Oh you have to become a teacher so you can pay bills." "What are you going to do with an English Major?" And the truth is, I don't know. And I'm happy not knowing.

I am sick and tired of having to always think about the future! I don't want to just survive in this world. I mean think about it, why do people get the jobs they have? To pay bills. To get a decent home. People don't *live* anymore, they exist. They settle for a job that they don't want because they feel like they have to. And when they're sitting on their death bed, what are they supposed to be proud of? "At least I got a good deal on that chicken at Tops the other day."

I don't want to do that. Excuse me if you think I'm being childish but it's the truth. If I'm going to die, then I want my life to mean something, even if it only means something to me. I don't want my parents existances. I want to live, and live for me. And why shouldn't I? I'm the one stuck in this damn body for the next eighty or so years. That way, by the end of my time, I can sit there and think, "well, at least I did something."

Ego

Every person in the world has an ego. Really, it's scientific fact. Every person wants to be praised for something. They love it, they yearn for it. They feed off it. Yeah, all that crap about needing food and water to survive, total bullcrap. People need compliments.

Now, I am fully ready to admit, my ego is... well to put it simply--if a little steriotypically--my ego is bigger than the average male's. I love to be told that I'm doing something amazing, it's one of the most incredible highs ever. Problem, they rarely come.

See, right now, I'm writing a blog. Why? Because I'm bored. Do I honestly expect anybody to read this? No, they never do. On this one website, for example, I posted two different stories that I had written on their forum. The one story got maybe... nine hits, and one review. I don't know, maybe I suck at titling things, or maybe people see my posts and are about to click on it when suddenly they get the urge to go make a pizza instead.

So here I am, rambling in a blog that nobody is ever going to read while everyone else out there is having a late night snack. And yeah, it blows. There is only ONE thing that I'm good at in this world, only I have no proof of that since nobody is willing to read what I have.

This has turned into a totally annoying whiny rant, and normally I'd apologize, but since nobody's going to read this anyways, it doesn't really matter. So, I say adieu, to, well... air.